Transitional Change in PSY Posting

I never think that I will like psychiatric posting until today. A magical spell made its miracle on me.

It started of with me, got scared by a maniac patient in the ward, maybe psychotic patient, I'm not so sure. The memory is still crystal clear in my mind. He called me up, repeatedly. I looked into his eyes, I felt chills running down my spine. I'm scared. It should not happened. But after listening to those epic encounters where those healthcare workers got strangled by these psychotic patients, I felt scare to approach them. I remembered XJ and me approaching a BMD with depressive mode African lady. The way she talked as if her life was so meaningless. I can see total gray colour in her world. She was despair, hopeless. I can see myself hanging myself from the ceiling. No NO... I made an excuse and walked away from her. XJ was puzzled why I'm acting this way. I'm not telling her what I felt. This is very unprofessional. So I promised myself to make a move from my own barrier. I cant rely on people to help me all the time. A few sleepless night I had. I had think too much perhaps. 

First patient I met individually was in daycare. She was nice and polite. A schizo patient. I tried to imagine her situation. It's really hard. But it's a good attempt. I'm trying my best to develop my interest in this field. I guess God is good to me. He heard my prayers. Thank God. I'm trying my best to cope with all these.

Second patient is BMD. She's good as well. Two angels came to help me with the mental status examination and cognitive function test. Really appreciate their sudden approach and their generosity. 

Today, when I was in  ward, a cute little madam came approaching me and XJ. She was very talkative, easily distractable. She "see" and "felt" ants from her hair (somatic hallucination). She thinks peoples are peeping her taking bath and the funniest part was she told me she was pregnant but the fetus was gone after she poopoo! I can't hold my laughter! We sang in the middle of corridor in the ward. I hope I can be like her. Happy-go-lucky! 

The next patient had a grandiose thinking. She claimed that she was BUDDHA! Sorry, I burst out in laughter again. But I made new friend with her. I like her! and I'm sad that she was leaving. 

While busy screening through the case files, I met the African lady again. She turned out to be very irritable and aggressive. She scolded Dr in the ward. She claimed that they are trying to poison her! BMD BMD...BMD ALERT!

PSY is a very subjective subject. I can't have my concrete thoughts when approaching them. I still have slight fear of approaching depression patient. I need time to overcome these. Thank God for keeping me in track again! I will see YOU all this Sunday! XOXO :)